January 2006,

Jan1
Not for money

Eat
Smoke
Drink
Lift back eyes
The Devalyxx thinks transition and his time
He is the paintbrush, only held by the sum of substance

Jan 2
Just another day
Flip page
Dead pillow day at work

Gaining back confidence
Becoming more productive
Not glorifying the present past
Over the past present
Speaking my mind
Off from my chest

Jan 3
Speaking clearer
Willing to loosen
I will be
In time
Things that change
Moments and the stage
To scream with no thoughts
& make perfect sense

today’s medication was an a-bomb

I must get my head straight
Passion, come in
& let my patience sing
in explosive heart
where I hang my home





Jan 4
Egyptian sands surrounding me. Light in the sky from the core of the earth refracting upwards. Fractals dancing from the surface of the ocean tides.
When the sky suddenly shifted black and everything around me became five percent visible I looked to the moon as a man was gutted from a distance behind. The moon eclipsed by a symmetrical sharp cornered object, indistinguishable, and eventually freed the moon allowing me to drive home with clarity. There I see five cars abandoned on the road when my car became inspired to do the same. From that point I walked home to find nothing has changed. The car was parked in my driveway and people still existed; free enough to elaborate on any images they loosen up and think of…..
Sharing much like words with others.

Jan 5
The tip top honest
Fits
On a day of sleeping in
Does it mean we wasted a day
Or waste away in vivid unlikely events
Like ghosts of girls
Asking why I won’t
“put your head on my shoulder”
When wide awake
The state of mind lost linear lines
Of conscious concentration
Pulleys on the wait well
Theatre stage only to find
Applause one self-consciousness away
Who ever said believe in what you say
When words were worked on
To complete the transaction of the brain
And left out lost
After someone sez love and hate
Differently than the feelings you relate

Jan 6
All the conversations are reruns
Except the silences between

Fava fava

A remedy for boredom
Just to want a feel
& so he imagines a new
“Where he are”


experiencing someone’s fleeting memories
“visiting the just missing”
someone’s experiencing memories I made to escape
much like this

Jan 7
I woke up
Asshole
Bought interpretations
Asshole
And drank
You’re not learning much this way
I know
If you do
Do something else

I want to smile without

Jan 8
Learning, yet still being quite annoying.

Jan 9
I had asked a crying girl if she needed an ear or a shoulder. She laughed.
I planned to use my devotion today. I failed.

Jan 10
Too lazy and skipped the sails

Jan 11
The meaning of life has yet to be quoted
And thinking too much about what you want to say doesn’t help at all
Looking up for unknown answers

An apple tree
Physics leaves
& Adam and Eve

searching for something called love
It’s like walking by walls without giving them the time or day
Waiting for a greater story to be told
&
the moment when everyone has said enough

It’s a boring life besides the things you ignore.


Jan 12
She really knows how to smile into a ginger laugh
Heh heh
Remember the days that never ended still existing now?

Jan 13
After Colour Drange.

Jan 14
All the things that have changed are mixing
into the cold rust water yellow tooth coffee cup
cigarette smoke intangible
ribbons reminiscence of growing old
until the end of each month
the moon drops a “hello”
but the only thing we hear are our legs giving out

Yeah, the times have changed,
but 1am is still the same central time zone
boys are still named by their father’s favorite hard-on
and dreams are built from sand to diamonds

Peel the curb dear
Dear dear Dagmar’s words want to sing something
To all the superheroes on Belmont & Ridge
instead left to sip on a sedative
that sits on my lap
and sez,

“You must sing your words louder if that’s what you want them to hear.”

And when I leave this house the world will flower delicate sun.
I’ll keep up with the paint that runs down the cheek of a first impression holiday.
I’ll make you proud, all for me.

Jan 15
let poets speak the words that sing themselves w/out allowing opinion conform expressions into silence sitting down.
An ode to a curtsy.

Jan 16
Lying
&
Acrylic white paint
ALSO!
Don’t forget to fall in love with her.
Jan 17







Jan 18
Today I worked harder on everything else than myself.

Jan 19
Out spoken interjects on a memory landscape over the telephone
Less controlled, less freely, so simple as a soul with an undisciplined bow
To the applauding words kept within your immobile room
To the art you make only for you

Giving significant gestures to circle the self-conscious questioning
What is best for me
A respectful death or life?

Jan 20
Thinking about a German Jew
A rare breed
Blonde hair, blue eyes, a dictator in a blue dress on the television set.
Jesus is not God’s kinda guy nor did Noah take two of each dinosaur in his Titanic

Does the moon shift in a “Does it effect you? Explain…” kinda way.

CUT!

The asshole walks in in a subtle best gesture curling bottles under his lips to spit hurtful words on the wings of a gentle winded butterfly smile to be slapped in the face by someone you respect. Changes the perspective of you slept willfully or well.

Jan 21
Whiskey falls down the throat halls
And inhibition dries up
We can refurbish what an opinion once was
Just by contaminating your blood

Your drink never forgets the ice




Jan 22
TV capitalizing brain
Lungs: grass, tobacco, pleurisy harvesting
Stomach: sushi, energy pill, acidity
Liver: Beer
Sleep: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Jan 23
I’m getting sick of lying about how guilty I feel on telling the truth like,
“I feel sick, I need to leave work…. I hope you believe me because I do want to go home sick or not. In fact I feel better sick at home than healthy at my job where nothing changes like effective courageousness to step out on motivations. I’m only getting old when I’m feeling sorry for myself and complaining about how I procrastinate on my goals.”
So,
Give it your all
I will
Give it your all
Tomorrow
Give it your all
After this cigarette bed rest beer glass and the meaning of life
Give it everything
Television settling
20/20 seldom insight
the how do you make yourself happy in being yourself
when your selfish self sells your soul for health
Give it your all
Little do you know you are doing that right now
seemwhile

“nnnnnnnnnnnnnn” nothing like some nub on lunch break.















Jan 24-27
Pleurisy in plural defeat
Can’t breathe can’t breathe
The soak of the sum in my tar candied lungs
Cigarettes beg for love
The scrape in your chest calls
A relapse more annoying than gypsies of sodomy
Watching your pee with a grin
“Can I come in? Did you wipe?”
you know I just might die
you know I might just die
breathing is a mutter of opinion
breathing and burning intentions
I’m about to throw the coo coo clock from the wall
My mind is untimely to it’s pendulum
Oh whoah whoah
On the couch for a week
Oh whoah whoah
Nothing but movies and TV
And rented a video game to collect the dust
Oh whoah whoah
Time refined Bill Murry smiles
Lights a cigarette
Will I ever quit
It hurts my lungs to forget

I’m just a little pleurisy boy

Jan 28

















Jan 29
Please forgive me for what I can’t tell you
What do you feel when you want something someone has
Like connection
Mutual introspection
And natural correspondence
To creative intolerance
Like I painted this painting of
“Solid faucet water, Icarus seed”
and you say out loud
“Liquid means I’m halted to touch the sun, to dry, and never breed your pre-inevitability”

Jan 30
Envy is ignorance
Imitation is suicide
Take yourself for better for worse
Obtain what you need with what you have
Half expression leads shame to the divine
Trust thyself
No mirrors and invalids in a protected corner
No cowards fleeing before a revolution

Jan 31
Damnit man
Look at the pit you put yourself in
You drink yourself to the bottom and raise the bar
How do you expect to climb out of this if you refrain to quit this bliss reminisce and
(repeat from from “Damnit man”)

after a three day storm you see symbols in the sky
a sigh to write a simple line into a bottle
a gift to the tides
what simple line I wrote was larger for how small I am
to be swallowed by the sea
than the shores of warring lands
I wrote
(repeat from “after a three day….”)